The Sadness of Superpoliceman

Superpoliceman is a troubled soul, wandering directionless in an indeterminate universe. 

Bereft of support for his questioning mind, life has become harder to navigate as Superpoliceman has grown older.

Superpoliceman is a badly drawn, digitally coloured naked police officer with pale olive green skin and large bulbous eyes, whose irises and pupils are an indistinguishable mess of pen line and bright digital colours. He is facing left. His nose is dark pink, large, flat and misshapen and his mouth, which covers most of the lower part of his face, is red and open and droops to the right side. His sole visible ear is a wonky ellipse with a broken circle at its centre. He is wearing a squat blue custodian helmet whose top is sliced clean off at an angle. There is a wavy line that crosses from his head over into the custodian helmet, which might be the top of his head or a distressed ribbon around his helmet. His left arm, which is a darker olive colour, is held stiff to his side in parallel with his body. His unremarkable penis is flaked by testes and hangs at a slight angle. The tops of his thin, slightly parted legs are visible.

Superpoliceman first appeared in HOW TO SURVIVE A PANDEMIC. But here is Benbo's original sketch:

Scan of an A4 sketchbook page. Landscape orientation. The paper is yellowing around the edges. Superpoliceman is crudely drawn in black pen outline. He is drawn horizontally across the top half of the paper, making it look like he is flying. Superpoliceman has large wonky round eyes with irises that are messily scrawled irregular spirals. His nose is large, flat and wonky and his mouth, which covers most of the lower part of his face, is open and droops to the right side. His one visible ear is a nondescript wonky ellipse with a broken circle at its centre. He is wearing a stunted custodian helmet. There is a wavy line that crosses from his head over into the custodian helmet, which might be the top of his head or a distressed ribbon around his helmet. His left arm is held stiff to his side in parallel with his body. His penis and scrotum are tilting to the right of the picture, presumably because of air resistance created by the momentum of his flight. The tops of his thin, slightly parted legs are visible. Scrawled underneath Superpoliceman in all capitals are two lines of text: the first has smaller lettering and reads ‘RUSHING TO THE SCENE OF THE CRIME’; the second is larger and reads ‘SUPERPOLICEMAN.’

Superpoliceman is often on his way to a crime scene, but the suspected perpetrators are always gone by the time he arrives.

Sometimes, Superpoliceman is deployed to demonstrations and protests, where he receives abuse from some members of the public. He listens to the protest speeches when he can, as he feels it is important to understand the people he has a duty to protect.

Superpoliceman often feels sad and conflicted when he sees the acronym ACAB. This is because it gives him a cognitive dissonance, based on the reality that sometimes he feels like a bastard and sometimes he does not.

Also, sometimes Superpoliceman feels like a bastard when he is not at work, and not a bastard when he is at work - which complicates matters further, because he does not know whether 'ACAB' as a concept is predicated on the idea that he only becomes a bastard when he is at work, or the presumption that he is a bastard all the time.

Sometimes it feels fair that he should be called a bastard, and sometimes it feels unfair.

Is it fair? He doesn't know.

In essence, Superpoliceman has not yet satisfactorily processed his feelings about the acronym ACAB, and this has led him to a cognitive break, which is why he is flying around in the nude:

 

Unfortunately, during this cognitive break he has been photographed by Benbo, who was sitting under a tree in Superpoliceman's imagination drinking fine wines from a picnic basket and eating sheep's cheese.

Benbo engaged Superpoliceman in friendly conversation, taking advantage of his vulnerable state to collect samples of his legs and custodian hat, which will be stored and occasionally displayed at the Benbo Natural History Museum.

On top of the ethical breach committed by the removal of samples from a vulnerable live specimen, Benbo did not even attempt to obtain permission from Superpoliceman to collect these samples, slicing them off with his artist's scalpel while making sympathetic noises to obscure Superpoliceman's audible distress.

These crimes are not only crimes against Superpoliceman - they are offences against any of us who may find ourselves wandering and vulnerable.

Benbo must atone.

Add your name to the petition below to call for the restoration of Superpoliceman's bodily samples to their rightful owner.

And boycott all Benbo products and services until the Benbo Natural History Museum returns their stolen treasures and compensates the survivors of the legacy of Benbo family 'exploration.'

 

Until all are free, none are free. Solidarity.

Goodbye
Team BGM!